As a mom, there have been about a million times (over the past 19 months) when I’ve asked myself if I’m doing it right, doubted myself, or beat myself up for doing something wrong. Since I have at least another 50 years or so of this, I anticipate that there is the opportunity for that to add up to a lot of mommy-guilt. Know what I mean?
For instance, there’s this great new study that came out about preventing peanut allergies by introducing them early (read about it on this Food Allergy Friday post). Well, what if you withheld peanuts from your children when they were under 3 years old…just like the experts told you to do? And your precious child now has a peanut allergy? Is it your fault? Of course not. The truth is that even in the study I mentioned, some of the children still developed peanut allergy. Some kids will still get peanut allergies (though hopefully many will not). Some children catch our viruses, even when we wash our hands constantly, or get sick some other way. Some children still get hurt in accidents, end up in trouble, or drop out of school. Even when moms do everything they’re “supposed to do”.
If you’re carrying around mommy-guilt because you did something wrong (or you think you did something wrong), it’s time to (ehm…let me tune my Elsa) let. it. go. You can’t undo the past. I’m pretty sure you did the best you could. You followed the best advice you could find, read the books, blogs, and labels. If you could’ve done better, you would have. Take a deep breathe in and inhale that truth. Now let it out and let it go.
Guilt is unproductive, unhelpful, and exhausting. Start where you are. What can you do differently now? Now that you have different information. You might not be able to undo something in the past or change everything, but you can make every effort to continue doing the best you can moving forward. You’re a good mom. xo
P.S. I wrote this for myself as much as for you…I’m sure I’m going to need it. 😉